CNN#6: HACKED BY ANONYMOUS + My Summer Crush
Love is in the air and an elite hacker syndicate known only as Anonymous has hacked everything...
UPDATE 7/9: Anonymous has released the following video:
Despite all of our best efforts, anonymous hackers released the following video:
We’re sending anti-hackers.
HiROBOT Presents: ROBO-ai magic newsletter summary
Yes, hello HiROBOT ROBO-ai Technology is here now to help you summarize your newsletter. Here’s what I learned from scanning of newsletter:
Anonymous hacking groups have hacked into cranny.world website to obtain large amounts of cola.
Cranny Boy or Hugo want to eat donuts with Roommate Brian their newest roommate. Cranny Boy fell in love and meets a new friend Linda Likely.
Everybody wants to eat many donuts. Read until the end of the newsletter now to find out what kind of donut will Cranny get for Roommate Brian now.
cranny.world has been HACKED by Anonymous
>be cranny.world most famous website on the world wide net
>get hacked by anonymous hacker group
>???
Yeah so basically what ended up happening was the site got hacked. Go check it out at cranny.world now. This doesn’t look that good in my humble opinion. They want us to fork over a considerable amount of cola which I don’t have access to due to tariffs or something like that. Sooo yeah we’re all royally f*#%ed! They’re going to leak everybody’s response to whether you’re team cranny or team evil. Our cran tech team is working diligently to counter-hack anonymous….
Below is the video from our page as well, embedded here for dexterity’s sake..
Absolutely chilling… Those wicked hackers have done it again. And by “it” I mean be evil and mean for no damn reason…
My Summer Crush
Okay now onto the important stuff anyway. Yeah so it all started a few weeks ago when I went to Billy’s Beauties Donut Shoppe down the block a ways on the corner of the strip mall next to the Muchos Buenos restaurant. Me and Hugo and our roommate named Brian were all just waking up and we decided we were hungrier than hell so I said I would go get us donuts. Hugo wanted a bear claw and Roommate Brian became interested in trying “something sweet and jelly-filled!” Which he wanted me to surprise him about (keep reading until the end to find out what kind of donut I got Roommate Brian).
So, I decided to walk down to Billy’s Beauties and snag a few. On the way there I met a strange woman named Linda Likely. She wanted to know if I could answer a few questions about my internet service provider so I was like eh why the hell not. We ended up chatting for a good 40 minutes about this or that. Mostly we talked about internet service and providers of it. I said I liked the one that gives me the juice as in the fastest one. She laughed and said that she represents XFAST Internet and that she would give me a good deal if I got me and three of my friends to switch over. Well as I was counting my friends on my fingers I had a realization that I could only think of two. Hugo and Roommate Brian. So I had to decline her amazing offer but I took her business card anyway. Then I kept on continuing to strut my stuff down to the donut shoppe to get us the donuts that we’d been craving.
When I got to the shoppe I was sooo hungry I had to stop and hold my stomach really tightly and lay on the ground for umpteen minutes until I felt better. That’s when I went inside and saw they only had three donuts remaining:
1 Bear claw
1 Plain glaze with peanuts sprinkled on top
1 Secret kind that you’ll find out when you get to the end of the newsletter. Be sure to subscribe too and like this post if you want to see more hot content!
Without even looking at my cashier I started listing off my desires. One hot and ready bear claw, one nut-covered delight, and one other one too. My mouth had been watering. That’s when the lady at the register said “Okay your total will be something like fifteen bucks or whatever.” So then I started to reach into my wallet to grab the cash. Then when I had the cash in my grasp I lifted my hand up towards the counter. I had to stop for a hot second and look behind me because I heard the door open and some guy shuffled in and started mumbling about how they didn’t have the donut he wanted. But then finally when I looked up at the cashier and saw her nametag said Wendy Beautiful. She was the owner’s daughter. I looked into her slime-green eyes and just about melted there on the floor. The guy behind me started sighing really heavy and then she said “thank you for stopping by.”
The Long Walk Home
The long walk home all I kept on thinking about was how breathtaking Wendy Beautiful really was. I pretty much just kept on repeating her name out loud and to myself a bunch. I don’t know what came over me.
But then days went by and all I could think about was Wendy. I started craving donuts just about every day. The roomies (Hugo and Roommate Brian) were growing weary of the pastries. When I finally got up the courage to go and ask her on a date, there was a different person working that day. They said she left the country and isn’t coming back…
That’s just life though. “To fall in love and fall in debt,” - Green Day band. Cranny Out.
Post Round-Up!
Roommate Brian’s Donut
The type of donut I got Roommate Brian was… (drumroll please!) A raspberry jelly filled donut.
methinks anonymous should drink evil cola instead, they are on one fr fr